Dating

Spending the night with a stranger

“So you have finally decided to spend a night with strangers?” said an old friend.

“Yes, I can’t wait” was my reply.

That night I made some mistakes that if you are about to do this for the first time, then at least I can spare you from doing them. You will thank me later.

So here are 5 tips on what not to do when spending the night with people whom you don’t know:

1)        Don’t start drinking right away unless it’s your thing and nobody minds. There is no reason why you should be already drunk when everyone else has only started their second drink or is even still on their first one. At one of these nights, the majority of the people did not drink at all. It took me some time to realize it was because I had started drinking right away assuming others were doing so too.

2)        Don’t start taking drugs unless everybody is doing it or you get an explicit invitation from someone that clearly seems like he/she knows what they are doing. At one of these nights, there was a guy who just wouldn’t stop smoking weed. He would go out for smokes every half hour and came back reeking of weed every single time. That’s the type of thing you don’t want to do on these nights, trust me.

3)        Don’t talk about personal things with your new friends before getting to know them better and knowing which boundaries can be pushed. One night a girl shared a story about how she cheated on her boyfriend and managed to get away with it. The next morning I realized that maybe this wasn’t the smartest thing to do, but hey we were strangers after all so there’s no harm done… or is there? You have no idea who you are talking to and what problems they might have with cheating.

4)        Don’t ask too personal questions just yet. Questions like “how much money do you make?” or “what car do you drive?” should be postponed until at least your second drink, third if you really have to know right away. Again, these nights tend to attract people from different backgrounds and while some might seem open for these kinds of questions, others might mind them.

5)        Don’t spend the whole night talking about yourself and your life when you can be listening to other people too. Yes, this is a good opportunity to get to know each other better by sharing stories and experiences but if everybody is doing it, then it defeats the purpose of meeting new friends in the first place. This leads me back to tip no 2: don’t drink or smoke weed or take drugs right away; they will make you talk even more (and louder) about things that shouldn’t be shared before knowing others better. All in all, my point here is: relax and take things slowly! You have all night long so there’s no need to rush anything.”

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